Definition of Insanity

It is said the the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. I must be insane. I am looking at the new year thinking that oh this year I will lose weight (did that in years past, and I weigh more now than I did then), that I will get organized (did that in years past), will work on the house (did that in years past and the house now needs repair not just sprucing up), I am still debating going back to school (and have lost the opportunity to finish a degree in 6 classes - new state licensure requires the complete masters not just an add on to the masters I have), things do not look like they will get any better with the coordinator of the program I teach in and how he interacts with me, and I continue to beat myself up for wasting the days away watching TV and yet the remote buttons have about lost their numbering from my channel surfing. I know I am the only one who can change it. I know it starts with me. I know I will feel better if I get back to the gym, learn to eat right, lose weight, take care of my house, get active and yet I continue to allow depression to swallow me.

Insanity!

One Year Past, Another to Come

2010 is closing. 2011 will come with the turning of the clock just as each day comes and I believe in the promise of tomorrow. At midnight the promise of a new day, a new year, a new decade will come. What will you do with it? (I ask myself)

What will you do with the time that's left?
Will you live it all with no regret?
Will they say that you loved till your final breath?
What will you do with the time that's left?

And what will you with the time that's past?
Oh and all the pain that seems to last?
Can you give it to Jesus and not look back?
What will you do with the time that's past?

And what will He say when your time has come?
And He takes you into His arms of love
With tears in His your eyes will He say "well done"?
What will you say when your time has come?

Kutless - What Faith Can Do

Hit the video play, if you are looking at the actual blog and not just the email notice, to hear while reading... a positive few minutes in your day!

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
http://www.elyricsworld.com/what_faith_can_do_lyrics_kutless.html
You don't have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That's what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

What If...

We could all play the "What if" game forever and never exhaust the possibilities. We do the "what if" when a situation has not occured in a way we had hoped for and consider the better possibilities.
Today I had many "what ifs" flow through my head and an so blessed that none of them came true.
McKenna and I had gone to paint pottery with friends today when the person at the pottery place asked if there was someone by the name of Beth or Bess who knew a Melissa. Well I am Beth and I know an Alyssa so she handed me the phone. It was my mother saying Alyssa had been in a car accident and the ambulance was heading to the ER and I needed to get there.
Alyssa had been turning left out of our neighborhood and looked left to a clear road, then right to see a car coming but enough distance away she could go, when she did, a car going too fast was rounding the curve to her left. She hit the gas to move out of the way but the car TBoned her on the driver's side fortunately directly behind the driver in the rear quarter panel of her car. She was not wearing her seat belt.
What if the car had hit 6 inches ahead of where it had hit?
What if Alyssa had not pressed the gas to try to get out of the way?
What if the car had hit directly on the driver's door?
What if?
Instead, I am blessed that God hears my prayers each day to protect my children and keep them in His healing hands.
Instead I was able to bring my child home, banged up and bruised with a broken rib and a missing tooth but ok.
I can replace a car. We can replace the tooth. The rib will heal and the bruises and scraps will too. I can not even imagine the what ifs that would be any different, worse that what blessing I had today.
God, continue to protect my children and keep us all from those "what ifs"

Powerful story!

Easter Opening from Covenant Church on Vimeo.

Broken & Beautiful

I was talking to someone today about how we are all human, not expected to be perfect and we make mistakes. Small fixable ones, big honkin ones we think we will never recover from or receive forgiveness but we do. I told them that God loves us broken as we are and still in His eyes sees us a beautiful... Broken & Beautiful.

I went to CR for the first time tonight in many many months. I was met with such warmth and genuine welcoming. Hugs, smiles, Beth so glad to see you, I am glad you are here and many many "How is Chad?" "Where is Chad?" I mean the people that know him in the church know he has gone to Phoenix, some of them. It was the people that come in on the bus that would ask me, people I did not know. I had no idea he had made such and impact on a some of them.

Scott sang. It is always wonderful to hear his voice sing praises. After at Solid Rock Cafe, he asked how Chad was, I said he has been better. He wanted to know if school was going well, I said yes. He was blown away to hear that he was in Phoenix and very upset at himself for not knowing or contacting him. He was thinking that since Chad had not contacted him (his CR sponsor) that he was doing well. He was openly upset. Wait, this all does tie in ... Before he knew Chad was in Phoenix, he asked what we were doing Saturday and would we like to go to see a concert with him and his wife Saturday. That is when I told him he was in Phoenix. So he still extended the tickets ... it is a Mark Schultz concert! Broken & Beautiful!

God works in amazing ways. Glad He knows my music too... now can he have someone want to give me Third Day, Switchfoot or Casting Crown tickets? :)

Where is my Place In This World

Isn't that a question we all ask, where do I belong? We are all searching for our place in this world. So many choices to make in life are we making the right ones? If we chose to open out heart to someone how do we know with them is where we belong? If we chose this school to go to, is this where we should be (Alyssa is asking that question) and then we ask, What next?

I don't know. I thought I found where I belonged but I was not wanted. I remember this song and how I believed it described me when I first heard it many many years ago and as I hear it now, sadly it still does. But then again, it describes many of us.